just me, my notebook, my desk, and a wall…

6 August, 2010

Apologies for the somewhat haphazard (and infrequent) posting recently. The deadline for the dissertation is looming and so life is mostly just a matter of the hard graft of trying to generate enough good poetry for the beginning of September, and consequently there’s not much coming my way to write about (my own reading and gems from physicists aside). Time’s running through my fingers and it’s hard not to feel overwhelmed. That said I’m doing better than I was a few weeks ago; having just three weeks left has really helped me focus, and all the other things that I was stressed about a while back just don’t seem important any more. Now it’s just me, my notebook, my desk, and a wall that’s filling up with print-outs of poems. And it’s going to stay like this until the first of September.

One great thing that’s shifted recently is my own attitude towards writing. I had an extremely helpful and encouraging conversation with a friend a month or so ago (technically he’s my spiritual director I suppose you’d say, but that sounds so formal) that seemed to help me view that really difficult phase, when you’re appalled by just how bad your initial lines are, in a completely different way. Perhaps I’m finally coming to view writing as more of an enjoyable challenge than anything else. I do hope so. But certainly the writing is coming much easier, which is of course a massive relief  – at this stage I just don’t have the time/psychic energy for forehead-clutching…

I can’t believe the year’s almost over. Just as it did last year, September seems golden, mysterious, inviting (as well as a long way away still). I’ll be relieved to hand in my dissertation, ready for a holiday, and I’m really excited about what’s coming next…

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